


Come, Let's Watch the Rain

by CaptainMars



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Drabble, Light Angst, M/M, Self-Reflection, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 13:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17602427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainMars/pseuds/CaptainMars
Summary: Magnus finds Alec smoking and they have a talk.





	Come, Let's Watch the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was a way for me to vent some feelings I have about my own situation.
> 
> The title comes from "Sunlight on Your Skin" by Lil Peep. I recommend listening to it while reading.
> 
> A massive thank you to @Rai_Knightshade for being my beta for this! <3
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments put a smile on my face! :>

The soft patter of rain on the bedroom window is what gently wakes Magnus up. He tries rolling over onto his other side to maybe fall asleep once again, but it doesn’t work. Something feels off. Slowly, he opens his eyes to a still dark room and to an empty left side of the bed. Magnus slides his hand across the sheets to Alec’s side. Slightly warm, so he hasn’t been gone long.

Sitting up, he stretches out his arms, a satisfying crack coming from his back. Still sluggish from sleep, he reaches over for his phone on the nightstand. 4.07AM reads the display. It’s way too early, even for both him and Alec. Magnus stands up and throws on one of his silk robes before heading out of the bedroom.

When he gets to the living room, Alec still is nowhere to be seen. He starts heading for the kitchen, but not before a quick glance towards the balcony that stops him in his tracks. He spots Alec out on the balcony, standing by the railing. Good thing he enchanted the balcony against any weather to keep it dry and warm. As he heads towards the glass door separating him from the other man, he sees a light puff of smoke emit from in front of the other. As soon as he quietly, so as to not startle the other, opens the door, the smell of light tobacco hits his nose. 

“I didn’t peg you for the type to smoke.” Magnus teases without any heat. Alec seems a little startled, but he quickly settles before turning his head towards Magnus, a small smile gracing his face.

“Not quite the perfect, rule abiding soldier am I?” he says, a huffed out laugh joining in. He takes another drag as Magnus comes to stand next to him. To Alec’s surprise, Magnus asks for one as well. With a slight lift of his brow, Alec takes the pack sitting in the pocket of his sweats and pulls one out for him. Before he can offer his lighter, Magnus’ cigarette is lit with a quick snap of his fingers.

“Didn’t think you smoked either.”

“I’ve lived a long life, tried many things. I remember when cigarettes first started appearing, how excited everyone was, likes it was a magical cure. Of course, until they all found out how bad they actually are.” He took a drag before looking towards Alec, who did the same. “How did you start?”

Alec shrugged. “Like any teenager. Too much pressure, too much responsibility all at once, needed something to ease it all. I tried taking the edge off by training as much as I could, but I am still part mundane, I can only take so much physical strain.” He took another, longer drag. “I was 17 when I first tried one, felt so rebellious. Thankfully I’ve restrained myself all these years. I only go for it when it gets really dark, when I’m afraid I’ll finally snap.” 

Magnus reached out for the hand not holding a cigarette, squeezing it in his own. “I’m guessing something's on your mind. You don’t have to talk to me about it, but I want you to know that I’m here for you.” 

Alec smiled at that, flipping his hand around to interlock their fingers. 

“I had a pretty bad nightmare...Back when Jace was possessed by Lilith, you said you’d do anything to save him, even if it killed you…and I said thank you. In the nightmare, that came true, I found you lying on the ground in Edom dead. And it reminded me that it could’ve happened. I’m so sorry about that time, it was disgusting of me to say that.” Alec confessed.

He took an extra long drag after that and so did Magnus. Both of them stayed silent for a bit, taking in the last of their cigarettes before Magnus got rid of the ends with a flick of his wrist. They stared a little longer at the rain right in front of them.

“I will admit that I was taken aback by that, but you had your reasons. You two are brothers and parabatai, so it must have been hard to deal with the possession.” Magnus said, turning his gaze towards Alec. He was a little surprised to see Alec swallow thickly.

“I’m uh…I’m getting rid of the parabatai bond…” Alec said, not meeting Magnus’ eyes. Now Magnus was very surprised.

“Why?” He came closer to his lover, touching their foreheads together.

Alec sighed. “The bond, it’s…it’s not good. I feel chained down. I never really wanted the bond...I think the only reason I said yes was because I expected to die during battle a few years into being a proper soldier, and at the time I thought I could never have this,” he lifted Magnus’ hand to his lips, kissing the soft skin. “something like us. Even after we met and you showed me there’s more to life than just fighting demons and following orders, I wanted to at least pretend that the bond had brought me closer to Jace as a brother, not just made me feel like the person who cleaned up his messes and took the fall for him whenever something happened.” Averting his gaze, Alec looked out across the wet city scape.

“Alexander…” Magnus reached up and cupped his face, bringing his attention back. “I was always a little worried about your parabatai bond with Jace, but I didn’t want to bring it up, because I knew it was a sensitive subject…but I’m glad you want to take your own well-being into your hands. No matter how it goes, I’ll stand by you.”

That’s what broke the dam and a tear slid down Alec’s cheek before he enveloped Magnus in a tight hug.

“Thanks you…for everything you’ve done. I’m so sorry for all the horrible things I’ve said to you: when we first met, when you stuck around, when you lost your magic…I’m sorry I got you involved in dumb Shadowhunter business.” Alec said into Magnus’ shoulder, hugging him tighter. 

Magnus hugged back just as tight, a small, choked laugh escaping from him. “It’s in the past and we’re stronger for it.”

“Even so, I want to be better, not just for myself, but for you too. I never want to make such awful mistakes again. You’re the most important person in my life and I swear to every Angel that I’ll do everything I can to, to-“ Magnus cut off Alec’s rambling with a kiss. It was soft and light, bet held so many emotions, that it felt like he’d combust.

They held on to each other, basking in each other’s closeness as the rain continued to fall, a sliver of the approaching sunrise peeking through the clouds as the morning crept on. A pack of cigarettes lays forgotten as they both head inside.


End file.
